Do you have an idea for a story you’d like written out? Or perhaps you want to commission a poem about a painting, a person, or a photograph? Would you really like to see the Greek goddesses Athena and Artemis have a mythological, yet very gay relationship? Maybe you’ve got a ship you’d like to see, potentially doing the dirtiest of deeds with an assortment of kinks? Need me to offer critique on a piece or edit something? Or maybe you want to hire me as a writer on your game!

All of the above is work I’ve done with people and they’ve all been super happy and satisfied with that arrangement! So whatever it is you’re itching to see featured on paper, I can help with that! Send a DM on Twitter (they’re open) or an email to so we can figure something out, together. I’ll do my best to ensure your dreams not only come true, but they’ll also come in a .pdf file with a nice font.

Practical information!

  • €30 for about ~1000 words
  • +€15 for another ~600 words
  • €15 for a poem (about 16 lines, four stanzas)
  • Payments for work that aren’t stories or poems (like gamework, editing, contracts that take a longer time) can be discussed over email, no problem!
  • Payments will be done through Paypal after talking through details
  • I use euros to buy my bread, which means you’ll have to keep in mind exchange rates before making a payment
  • The finished story will be sent to the address you’ve been using to contact me!

Some addendums:

Your story will go through a strict business-only channel and it will remain yours to do with whatever you want. I won’t publish it publicly unless you give me the explicit permission to do so. All I ask is that you do not claim it as your own. I will terminate any future business with you should you conduct plagiarism, and also write your name in the Book of Bad People, Like, Hell Was Founded On Your Name-Bad.

Examples of past work (overlapping definitely possible!)

  • Fanfiction (Of real series AND of your OCs!)
  • Original stories based on your ideas
  • Poems
  • Academic advice and journalistic assistance (credit me though)
  • Game writing (writing characters, plots, item descriptions; offering assistance, working in a team)
  • Literary advice, editorial help, manuscript checker
  • Erotica, smut, and sex: Most configurations and permutations, all sexualities and genders, many of the currently-known kinks (BDSM a big plus)
  • Violence/torture/death

What won’t I write?

  • Porn featuring real people. Don’t be weird
  • Scat or waterports
  • Sexual abuse, rape
  • Snuff (porn + death/unconsensual pain)
  • Beastiality
  • Sexism, homophobia, racism, transphobia, etc. I won’t host your hate.